Homespun Wisdom Saves The Universe

By quarkstomperquarkstomper


The Story

I was only able to game with our group occasionally during the "Justice Buddies" Champions campaign, so I missed much of the build up to the first "Reality Wars" plot arc. Strange things had been occurring and the team realized that somehow, somebody was changing reality.

The person responsible was a sweet, kindly widow who the team had become friends with. (Possibly she was a relative of one of the team members; I don't recall).

My character, the rougish Colonel Chance, came up with a novel way to test this. He would play cards with her. He was skilled enough with games of chance that if any force was altering probablilty around the woman, he would sense it. So he persuaded her to sit down one afternoon for a few friendly hands of cards. "I used to enjoy playing with my late wife, Jinxie," he said, "but she always used to have the most abyssimal luck."

We played several hands, and I asked the GM if my character noticed anything unusual.

"You win every hand."

"Um… but I'm not cheating."

"I know. You win every hand."

That's when things began to click. The GM was setting her up as a romantic interest for Chance; probably had been for some time, only I hadn't noticed. The woman was interested in Chance, and since Chance's late wife always lost at cards, then she —whether consciously or unconsciously — would manipulate reality so that she would too.

Well, the reality warps began to escalate soon after that, cumulating in a confrontation between the team and the woman, now definitely revealed as the source of the warping. She only wanted to fix things, you see; make things right that had gone wrong, but each change she makes reveals other problems to fix. She gave us a nice melodramatic monologue before a swirling dimensional vortex that threatened to consume reality and re-make it in her own image.

That's when, unexpectedly, Colonel Chance stepped in with a monologue of his own:

"Don't you see? It's jes' like when you got a lump in your carpet. And you try to beat it down, but the lump just pops up somewhere else. You can try and try, but no matter how much you beat 'em down, the lumps keep on poppin' up. Sometimes, you just gotta learn to take the lumps!"

I think the GM was truly stunned. She was quiet for a moment, and then one of the other players said, "My God, the Universe has been saved by homespun wisdom!"

Well, not quite. By that time the crisis was too late to avert and led to…

Ah, but that's another story.

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