Some background first. The game is a Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition Revised Campaign set in Ancient Greece, shortly after magic suddenly came back into the world in an event called 'The Cataclysm'. Suddenly the world's creatures are becoming monsters and people are learning to make impossible things happen, and some are even speaking to the Gods themselves.

Autolycus, the short Athenian tailor, is a man who was raised as a tailor, who used to spend hours every day reading the scrolls in the library, of Odysseus, Hercules and Xena. He also studied many other subjects. Eventually he realised that somehow, he could make things happen just by willing them to. So he practised and practised this. He eventually decided to use this talent to found his own epic tales of high adventure. So he buys his favourite scrolls, which are remarkably comprehensive on their subjects, and packs up his tailor's tools and stock, takes his grandfather's old chain shirt and throwing axes for protection and says good bye to his seven sisters. He promises to be back.

(That is, I wanted to play a Wizard, but since we start at level three and can only be a maximum of two thirds in caster classes, I took a level in Rogue and spent the extra skill points on Craft: Tailor. And I'm a halfling, but according to the setting, I'm just short.)

Then he joins a religious bodyguard, Anaeus, on a pilgrimage, and hits on him. He is turned down gently, but they stick together. They meet a bard on the road and naturally Autolycus introduces himself as "The Master of The Arcane, The King of Thieves (In the Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves sense), and Seeker of The Green Flame (I had realised that since my description of my magic was all green energy, I seemed like the green lantern in a fantasy game, so this was a subtle injoke.)". He bonded with the Bard, hoping to have her tell his epic tale someday. Along with the Bard is a noble looking man. He later turns out to be a follower of Hades who has learnt to wither other men's limbs. (He's a necromancer who uses ray of enfeeblement a lot.)

When they get to the next city over, they find that the Captain of the Guard has been ensorcelled and is taking the King hostage. We must fight past the housemaids without killing them, to save the King.

The kinky and bisexually promiscuous Autolycus allows one of the maids to bind his hands with a bedsheet in order to pull down hard and head butt her. Then, while she lies on the floor, he straddles her. As he punches her unconscious with a single blow from his fist, he casually informs her: "By the way, my safe-word is 'Potato'."

Then he stands up, sees his friend Anaeus, being out-fought (He was stuggling to fight in unarmed combat). So he leaps right across the room, horizontally, and kicks the maid in the head, knocking her unconscious. Then, concerned, he turns to Anaeus and asks: "Sorry, was that one yours?"

Many days later, when talking with the Dread Pirate Captain Smythe, he happens to be looking around the Captain's cabin and sees, inside the Captain's closets, dozens of fine clothes. He turns to the Pirate Captain and, quite sincerely, says: "Marry me?"

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